


howl

by tincanspaceship



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Confessions of love, F/F, im not sure how to tag this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tincanspaceship/pseuds/tincanspaceship
Summary: a confession at the last moment; a breath that doesn’t come.
Relationships: Jadzia Dax/Kira Nerys, Jadzia Dax/Worf (background)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	howl

**Author's Note:**

> sorry

"She's asking for you," a nurse says, and Kira's through the door to Jadzia's room before the sentence is over, jostling the nurse's shoulder in her haste. She pushes past Worf, too, but she doesn't notice how rude she's being. 

"Nerys," Jadzia croaks as Kira skids up to her bedside. Her hand lifts, weakly, and Kira grabs it with both of hers. 

" _ Jadzia,  _ Jadzia, I - I'm so sorry, it's my fault, I should - " Kira cries, hot, bitter tears down her cheeks, leaning over Jadzia's fragile body 

" _ Ssh _ , Nerys, you did everything right," Jadzia soothes, coughing slightly. Blood bubbles to the corners of her lips. 

"No, no, I could have -- I could have listened to the Prophets, I -- I should have told you, I -- "

She's silenced by a wavering hand on her damp cheek. 

"Nerys," Jadzia breathes, her breathing laboured and thick with liquid, "tell me what?"

Kira leans in, out of shame, in a futile attempt to keep her gnawing secret from echoing in the silent room. "I love you," she states, blankly, loosening her grip on Jadzia's hand. "I was too much of a coward to tell you, Jadzia, and you're  _ married _ , and I never told you, six  _ years _ \-- "

"You are not a coward, Nerys. I have never met someone as brave as you," Jadzia manages, her voice not even a whisper. 

"No, no, I am a  _ fucking _ coward…" Kira protests, vision blurred and hands trembling. 

"Shh, shh,  _ Nerys… _ " Jadzia rasps, her hand ghosting to Kira's chin, the pad of her thumb against her lips. Kira shudders, leaning into the touch. "Come here."

Jadzia kisses her, so gently and softly, with her dry, cracked lips, and Kira sobs. Jadzia exhales. 

"The Prophets will guide you," Kira whispers, holding her smooth, warm hand gently. "They'll take care of you." She scrabbles at her earring, pulling it off her skin without undoing the clasp. She places it in Jadzia's palm, closing her fingers around it. "Give this to them, they'll know you're family."

Jadzia cracks a small grin, grasping the sturdy metal. "Thank you," she breathes. Kira sobs, a desperate smile on her face through her sharp breaths. "Worf," Jadzia says, her eyes flickering over to him, "don't be mad. I love you too."

He grabs her other hand, and Kira can feel his eyes boring into her skull, but she keeps her gaze on Jadzia alone. 

"I feel so  _ empty _ , Nerys," Jadzia manages, coughing again. "I don't want to die without Dax."

Kira lowers their foreheads together, letting her nose press against her cheek. "I know. I'm sorry, Jadzia, I'm sorry it had to happen like this."

Jadzia smiles again, just faintly, pulling Kira's earring to her chest and towing Kira's hands with it. She exhales. 

Kira prays to the Prophets, she throws her whole soul to them, howls with every bit of hope she has,  _ breathe again, breathe again _ . 

Her faith fails her and Jadzia stills. 

Kira drops to her knees, her nose buried in Jadzia's cheek. 

She howls, she hasn't cried this long or this loud about anyone since her father, and her lips are damp with Jadzia's blood, still buzzing from the contact, her face tacky and hot and burning, and her ear feels light and bare without her earring, and her hands shake so strongly she can barely hold onto Jadzia's, and Worf is screaming, crying out Klingon words over Jadzia's body, then crying out in Klingon over Kira, shouting something, but all Kira can feel is Jadzia's blood burning a hole in her mouth, tasting of metal, and then she’s pulled away by strong Klingon hands and she chokes for  _ Jadzia _ , her body cast aside like scrap metal, her cheek burning from the carpet. 

She's exhausted, she finds, her bones heavy like lead. She closes her eyes and succumbs to sleep with little more than a choked whisper of a prayer for her friend. 


End file.
